Michael Vick. Why he'll never play for the NFL

Remember when Michael Vick used to play for Atlanta?! Can you please look back on the memories fondly, look at Vick as the most exciting quarterback in the league that went to Pro Bowls and won playoffs games and ran all over the place! This is what we have been screamed at by every single African-American journalist/analyst/blogger/radio personality. Well it's been a long long time since I've seen Michael Vick. I don't think Youtube is the best way to analyze what a player can do, because it only shows highlights. That is what the black sports media is trying to do, make sure we remember the highlights. Well what about stats. Do you guys remember that saying 'stats don't lie'? So why not just compare the stats from his last season he played in the NFL, 2006. Man, that was a while ago.

I'm looking at yards thrown and he threw for 2474 yards. He would rank 26th among QBs last year, right in between Tyler Thigpen and Jamarcus Russell. Even if we combine his rushing yards with his throwing yards he is still ranked outside the top 15. Right behind Matt Shaub, do you guys even know who Matt Shaub is? His YPA, which shows how much a QB's throws actually add to yards and first downs and touchdowns. He has a 6.4 which is ranked 25th right ahead of Kyle Orton. He did have 20 touchdowns which would be in the top 10. But here's where it gets ugly people. In this NFL, with complicated defenses and great coordinators and super athletes, accuracy might be the best way to determine what a QB can do. His completion percentage the last three years that he was in the league-2004, 2005, 2006-would have ranked dead last this year.

Michael Vick wasn't a very good quarterback when he was in the league. I understand that African Americans have great pride in their small sect of quarterbacks. But you just can't rationally look at the stats and his career and say, 'Why Doesn't A Team Sign Him!!!??' Some will argue that it's not his throwing skills that made him 'successful' but it was his athleticism. He's 29, LT is 3 months older than him and did you see LT last season? Athleticism doesn't last long in our lives outside of football, but in the NFL you just don't see super athletes survive the league past 30. Yes Wide Receivers can make it too their mid thirties but they don't take a beating, and they don't have to do what Michael Vick will have to do to be valuable to an NFL organization.

Do you really think NFL teams don't compare and discuss stats and value and ability? They don't just go to YouTube and type in 'Mike Vick' and get some propaganda about how amazing he is. They look at the stats and see what I see. Michael Vick would have the worst completion percentage in the league, along with the 5th worst total yards and 6th worst ypa. And that was 3 years ago! This guy hasn't played in 3 years, so how can his statistics go up that elevator? They can't. I think if a professional soccer player took two and a half years off and came back he would be alright. Because that sport is based on simple movements and conditioning. But to take the time Vick took off of the most complicated position in pro sports is not so simple. Michael Vick would be the worst QB in the league, and an average athlete. So why would you want him on your team? Well that's the question that has no answer and that is why not one single beat writer, blogger, insider has mentioned one possible destination. Michael Vick is never going to play in the NFL.

Home Run Derby REMIX

Chris Berman's famous homer' call, "back, back, back, gone!" We've all heard it, it's stuck in our metacorpis, septacorpis and Bermacorpis. I love it like I love Phil Collins, when his songs come on I immediately recognize it, play it in my head quickly and switch stations. Because Collins songs, for most of us, did not have impact like a Nirvana(for the 90's gen), Michael(80's) or Zeppelin(70's). But we do appreciate it and it strikes a little chord for all of the twitter-facebook-IPhone-cappuchino ice chai latte lite 1% stir no whip babeltar straw people in our society. But can you imagine listening to Phil Collins for THREE HOURS!? So on Monday night Fox aired a Phil Collins concert in prime-time for 3 hours. At least they could have and it would've had the same effect. The Home Run Derby is what I'm talking about people and as much as I love baseball, the home run is no more exciting than a stolen base or a strikeout.

What makes homers great during the season is when they mean something, so count out A-Rod's being exciting after August. Your team is down a run with a man on in the eighth and Prince Fielder or Nelson Cruz comes up and battles to get the count to 3-2. It seems like the pitcher has his number but all of a sudden they reach down and rip their body to knock the ball out of the park. That is excitement. Not watching "In the Air Tonight"... or batting practice homers. I'm sorry to say but basically every position player who has 100 at bats in a season is going to hit a home run. There is no differing style with the home runs, there are no flashy homers and blue collar type homers. No outrageous B list star athlete that is starring in a reality show homer or a homer that is dating a fading starlet. They all go over 400 feet and rarely hit 500, but when they do I'm not talking about it the next day! I talked about Vince Carter for weeks, even years after his Slam Dunk slamage earlier this decade, but not the Home Run Derby.

The reality is this is like Jurassic Park. The old Conservative man who wears glasses and loves to drink thought making larger than life creatures would bring in money and catch the imagination of children. The only problem is those huge creatures(roid heads or dinos) broke free from cages and started scarring children, destroying buildings and laying eggs(or shrinking their eggs). Bud Selig, like our friend the creepy business man in the movie, tested the natural order of things and got beat. He should've listened to Jeff Goldblum. Now Bud Selig does have a chance to save things from destruction because this last Home Run Derby is just proving how juiced the sport has been the last decade. But it also shows that players are clean right now. Trust ME. I guarantee you Joe Mauer, Brandon Inge and Carlos Pena are not roiding. If they are they should go back and get a rebate.

But the point is Bud Selig can save it by not making "The Lost World." In that sequel the creepy old business man took his dinosaurs off the island and brought them back to Los Angeles and then the creature took over LA and the citizens didn't seem to care too much. Woops. I forgot about Manny! Either way there will not be a Jurassic Park III for Bud Selig. So I'm sure your asking what can an old comish' do? Well why not get away from the roid run and add other exciting challenges for players to do. Like a Pitcher-Cather vs. Base Stealer. You put Josh Beckett on the mound and guys like Carl Crawford, BJ Upton, David Wright, Jose Reyes on first and then Yadier Molina behind the plate. One guy will be batting and if Beckett holds the runner, and strikes out the batter he gets 2 points. If there is a double play they get 3 points and if there is a strike 'em out throw 'em out you get 5 points. If the catcher and second baseman get the runner at second it's 2 points. And if the stealer gets second that's 3 points and if he gets third in the same at bat it's 5 points. You have two rounds and whoever gets the most points at the end will win a hundred thousand bucks for charity. You could have pitchers hitting and hitters pitching challenge. They could even do a double play exhibition where the batter is trying to hit it through the gaps and Kruck, Olney and the rest of the boys vote on the best ones. But the Home Run Derby won't leave, but we could change it.

Think about a three deck park. 10 players participate with ten outs but only play one round. If the batter is a lefty the left third deck is worth six points and the right first deck is worth one point and so on. It would be NL vs. AL and the winning team gets ONE MILLION DOLLARS divided for 5 players and they get to donate it to charity. You could even just put 4 homer hitters out there and do a horse style hitting exhibition. All these ideas are just that, ideas, and I'm sure people have even more. But that is the point, there should be real thought as to how to change the All Star Break into a real entertaining non stop action 3 day extravaganza. Bud Selig, please don't bring back Sam Neil for a third Jurassic Park. The Dinosaurs are extinct and baseball should realize it and get rid of the Dino Brawl that is the Home Run Derby.