Tiger Woods Sharpens His Shovel
Tiger Woods' golf bag consists of multiple Irons, a Driver, different putters, gloves, first aid, rags, and a huge shiny shovel. When Tiger Woods showed up on the last day of the Iced Tea Lemonade Tournament this weekend he was 5 shots behind O Hare for the lead. It was 8 months since Tiger had won a tournament going into the AP tourney and some were questioning whether some of that Tigerade was lost with the surgery he had subsequently 7 months ago. Tiger did look rusty the week before having a hard time with his drives and keeping it on the green. He mentioned that his body motion was just not what it was before his surgery. He didn't make it past the second day of the match play in Arizona 3 weeks earlier and didn't have his A putting game then. And the first two days of the Arnie Tournament he was a little off with irons and his driving wasn't great. In all seriousness if it was any other golfer in the history of professional golf that golfer wouldn't have been any kind of threat on the psyche of the other competitors. But this is Tiger freakin' Woods. And when another player is above or close to him in the standings in the last day of a tourney that is when Tiger brings out his shovel and gladly gives it to his competition. Because when another golfer can smell Tiger's B.O. and he wasn't on television and fighting for rank that golfer would run home, lock the door, turn off the lights, burn his clothes, and take a steamy shower to cover up the sounds of sobbing.
Tiger Woods Polishes His Shovel
As we all know Tiger Woods won the Arnold Palmer Tournament on a memorable put on the 72nd. But Tiger didn't win the tournament there or on any other hole. He won it because Tiger Woods is the most mentally imposing athlete in individual sports history. O'Hare lost that day the moment he woke up and checked who was behind him. No golfer can truly compete with Tiger because nobody can put pressure on him. That is what golfing is about, mental toughness, because you are all alone out there in front of millions of people for hours. Most golfers have the same skills or close to it, nobody is the Lebron James of golf or a Happy Gilmore. Most pro golfers have a great skill set and lots of talent. But it is your mental control, or your ability to use your talents without the unbelievable pressures from outside. And those pressures don't even involve Tiger Woods! When Tiger went out to have surgery there was a sigh of relief and maybe even tears of relief but no true competitive excitement, there is a difference. So that whole time he was out nobody really took advantage and got a mental edge on the other golfers, because of the fear of the shovel. Tiger's press conferences are propaganda to instill fear in his victims. His TV commercials are like propaganda pamphlets that are dropped out of helicopters in war time. He has his own video game where regularly beats his victims in virtual land. He probably even visits most golfers in their dreams to let them know that he will always be with them. This is the shovel that Tiger uses.
Tiger Woods Paints His Shovel
O'Hare is a very gifted golfer. He is a great putter and a great approach player. He is young and athletic and is in very good shape. The 8 months Tiger was out O'Hare would make mistakes even while he was in the top 5 on the leader board. But when he did he would brush it off and just try to keep going. When he made mistakes on Sunday he tried to steal the shovel right out of Tiger's bag and dig a hole to hide in. Because in his head he knew he couldn't beat Tiger because Tiger beat the whole field at the U.S. open on one leg for 3 days and an overtime match. In his head Tiger beats the number 2 ranked player in the country, Phil Mickelson, every tournament. There is no where to hide from Tiger, which is why he has his shovel handy. Some day 30 years from now people will constantly be talking about how great Tiger was in the clutch, or what great approaches he used and what great training he had. But what we who saw it will remember is that Tiger Woods is Stalin to the PGA's Russia. If you see or smell him you are going to the gulag.
Tiger Woods' golf bag consists of multiple Irons, a Driver, different putters, gloves, first aid, rags, and a huge shiny shovel. When Tiger Woods showed up on the last day of the Iced Tea Lemonade Tournament this weekend he was 5 shots behind O Hare for the lead. It was 8 months since Tiger had won a tournament going into the AP tourney and some were questioning whether some of that Tigerade was lost with the surgery he had subsequently 7 months ago. Tiger did look rusty the week before having a hard time with his drives and keeping it on the green. He mentioned that his body motion was just not what it was before his surgery. He didn't make it past the second day of the match play in Arizona 3 weeks earlier and didn't have his A putting game then. And the first two days of the Arnie Tournament he was a little off with irons and his driving wasn't great. In all seriousness if it was any other golfer in the history of professional golf that golfer wouldn't have been any kind of threat on the psyche of the other competitors. But this is Tiger freakin' Woods. And when another player is above or close to him in the standings in the last day of a tourney that is when Tiger brings out his shovel and gladly gives it to his competition. Because when another golfer can smell Tiger's B.O. and he wasn't on television and fighting for rank that golfer would run home, lock the door, turn off the lights, burn his clothes, and take a steamy shower to cover up the sounds of sobbing.
Tiger Woods Polishes His Shovel
As we all know Tiger Woods won the Arnold Palmer Tournament on a memorable put on the 72nd. But Tiger didn't win the tournament there or on any other hole. He won it because Tiger Woods is the most mentally imposing athlete in individual sports history. O'Hare lost that day the moment he woke up and checked who was behind him. No golfer can truly compete with Tiger because nobody can put pressure on him. That is what golfing is about, mental toughness, because you are all alone out there in front of millions of people for hours. Most golfers have the same skills or close to it, nobody is the Lebron James of golf or a Happy Gilmore. Most pro golfers have a great skill set and lots of talent. But it is your mental control, or your ability to use your talents without the unbelievable pressures from outside. And those pressures don't even involve Tiger Woods! When Tiger went out to have surgery there was a sigh of relief and maybe even tears of relief but no true competitive excitement, there is a difference. So that whole time he was out nobody really took advantage and got a mental edge on the other golfers, because of the fear of the shovel. Tiger's press conferences are propaganda to instill fear in his victims. His TV commercials are like propaganda pamphlets that are dropped out of helicopters in war time. He has his own video game where regularly beats his victims in virtual land. He probably even visits most golfers in their dreams to let them know that he will always be with them. This is the shovel that Tiger uses.
Tiger Woods Paints His Shovel
O'Hare is a very gifted golfer. He is a great putter and a great approach player. He is young and athletic and is in very good shape. The 8 months Tiger was out O'Hare would make mistakes even while he was in the top 5 on the leader board. But when he did he would brush it off and just try to keep going. When he made mistakes on Sunday he tried to steal the shovel right out of Tiger's bag and dig a hole to hide in. Because in his head he knew he couldn't beat Tiger because Tiger beat the whole field at the U.S. open on one leg for 3 days and an overtime match. In his head Tiger beats the number 2 ranked player in the country, Phil Mickelson, every tournament. There is no where to hide from Tiger, which is why he has his shovel handy. Some day 30 years from now people will constantly be talking about how great Tiger was in the clutch, or what great approaches he used and what great training he had. But what we who saw it will remember is that Tiger Woods is Stalin to the PGA's Russia. If you see or smell him you are going to the gulag.
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